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CHRISTIAN
BEHAVIOUR
CONDUCT IN
CHURCH
What
is the proper conduct for Christians on entering the Church and during the
service. Many converts to the Orthodox faith were born and raised in Non
Orthodox countries and had little contact with the Church, they did not
grow up in an Orthodox environment to know the rights and wrongs of Church
conduct. We see many things happening during the service, people lighting
candles at various times, others kissing Icons, others crossing
themselves, others making bows, others standing, others sitting and others
talking. For a stranger looking at all these things it can be very
bewildering especially when all these things are happening at the same
time, but without any uniformity.
The Greek word for order is
“Τάξη” and disorder is “Αταξία”, which in the modern sense also means
being naughty. Thus, when adults behave disorderly in Church, they are
like naughty children that need to be corrected, which is not something
Priests likes to do, but occasionally, when so many start talking at the
same time, we are forced to stop the service and comment on their
behaviour. Much of church etiquette is based on common sense and showing
respect for God and for others.
Our conduct in Church actually begins from the home and how we prepare
ourselves to go to Church. By this I don’t mean only spiritually, but also
how we dress to present ourselves before God. There was a time when people
had their everyday wear and then they had their “Sunday Best” reserved
just for Church and special occasions. While some people took this
dressing up a bit too far and even scandalized others which their
eccentric and flashy dress sense, today we have gone the opposite way and
dressing for Church has become too casual. We are going to Church to pray,
but at the same time we are going to be standing before our Creator, our
King and our God. Too much casualness is not appropriate. If we were
invited to stand before the Queen of England we would not only put on our
very best, but we would probably spend a small fortune on our attire just
to make ourselves presentable. Should we not make a similar effort for our
heavenly King? Of course, Christ doesn’t require us to spend a fortune on
our clothing, he accepts us no matter how we are: he looks at our heart
and not our clothing, but our attitude is important for that shows how we
do not take him for granted. Just because Christ accepts us for who we
are, this doesn’t give us the liberty to appear before him in rags. In all
areas of our lives, we should offer Christ our best. And the same is true
of our dress. We should offer Christ our “Sunday best,” not our everyday
or common wear. And we should dress modestly, not in a flashy way that
would bring attention to ourselves. Our dress should always be becoming of
a Christian. As a guideline, women’s dresses should be modest. No tank
tops or dresses with only straps at the shoulders, no mini-skirts, and no
skin-tight dresses. Dresses should have backs and not be low cut in the
front. Shorts of any type are not appropriate for church and women should
avoid wearing trousers, not because they are indecent, but because many of
the older generation still consider trousers to be attire only for men and
become scandalised when seeing a woman entering Church wearing trousers.
This is beginning to die out, but is it still very relevant in small
villages where the population is mostly old people.
Women should also have their
heads covered, which is something we rarely see nowadays, especially in
Greek Churches, but Russian women still attend church in this manner. St.
Paul says that:
“any woman who prays or prophesies
with her head uncovered dishonours her head: it is the same as if her head
were shaven. For if a woman will not cover herself, then she should cut of
her hair: but if it is disgraceful for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let
her be covered. For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, since he is
the image and glory of God: but woman is the glory of the man.”
(Cor. 11: 5-7)
Men should also dress modestly.
Jeans and T-shirts are not proper attire for Church. While one is not
expected to wear a jacket and tie (especially in the summer), a descent
trousers and shirt with collars is desirable and preferably with the shirt
buttoned up and not open-chested. Young children need not be too formal,
but again they should be trained from a young age to respect the Church as
the place they go to meet God and to dress accordingly. T-shirts with any
kind of writing on them are too casual even for children. At best, their
clothing should be clean and tidy and their shoes or sandals should be
clean and tied.
So now with our “Sunday Best” we make our way to Church and should
remember before entering to switch off our mobile phones. There’s nothing
quite as annoying as when, halfway through the service, someone’s phone
rings and not only do they answer it, they begin chatting as though they
were at the market place. So with phones off, or on silent mode, we
quietly enter the Church. The first thing we do is cross ourselves. This
is something that we will do several times during the service which can be
interpreted differently each time. We cross ourselves as a form of bodily
prayer, as an outward sign of reverence and veneration, or to protect
ourselves, or as a confession of faith, or as a blessing. The cross we
make on entering the Church is like a confession, a “mini-creed or
statement of faith”. It is also a remembrance that after we were
baptized, we were sealed on our foreheads with holy chrism: we were sealed
with the gifts of the Holy Spirit. It is saying that we are Orthodox. St.
John of Damascus wrote: “This was given to
us as a sign on our forehead, just as the circumcision was given to
Israel: for by
it we believers are separated and distinguished from unbelievers.”
Crossing one’s self recalls this seal, and the invocation that is said
while making this holy sign calls on our God - the Father, the Son, and
the Holy Ghost - and is a sign of our belief; it asserts our belief in the
Triune God, and at the same time it is a prayer that invokes Him. We seal
ourselves with the seal of Christ and as we touch our forehead we confess
Christ with our minds, then as we touch our stomachs or heart, we confess
Christ with our hearts and the innermost parts of our very being, and then
on our arms to confess that we will always do good, the right first to
show that good prevails over evil. I’m sure you all know how to make the
sign of the cross, but maybe you don’t know the symbolic meanings. To make
it, we always use the right hand as
the right is always symbolic of being correct and good and the left as
being wrong and evil. Christ placed the good, gentle sheep on his right
hand and the undomesticated and wild goats on his left. We bring together
the thumb, the index finger and the middle finger together. This is
symbolic of the Holy Trinity. Then we lay the little finger and the finger
nearest to it across the palm, recalling that Christ is both God and man
and that He has two natures. Then with the tips of our thumb and the two
fingers, we touch our forehead, our stomach, the right shoulder and the
left shoulder, making the sign of the cross.
The three fingers together symbolize the Unity of the Holy and undivided
Trinity. As we touch our forehead we remember our God the Holy Trinity Who
dwells in the Heavens. We remember that Christ is the pre-eternal Son of
God and as we touch our stomachs, we remember that he came down to earth
for our salvation, that he took his abode in the womb of the Mother of God
that he might be born a man like us. As we raise our hand to touch our
right shoulder we remember how Christ was raised on the Cross, but also
that he defeated death and ascended to heaven and sits on the right hand
of the Father. It is also a petition where we ask God to place us on his
right side with the Just. In touching the left, we recall those who are
condemned and receive eternal torment on the left side and thus beseech
the Lord to not put us on the left with the sinners. It can also mean that
when Christ descended to earth, he passed from the Jews, who were then
those on the right hand, and passed over to the Gentiles, who were then
those on the left. The Roman Catholics on the other hand cross themselves
from left to right symbolizing that from misery (left) they must cross
over to glory (right) just as Christ crossed over from death to life, and
from Hades to Paradise. After making the sign of the Cross we should also
make a small bow because we have just shown the Calvary Cross on ourselves
and we bow to it.
So having done this, the next thing we do on entering Church is to buy a
candle and light it at the designated place, which varies from Church to
Church. This again should be anticipated before entering the church. One
shouldn’t wait to enter before reaching for the purse and then trying to
find a suitable coin to place in the counter slot. Apart from the clanging
of the coins, it draws unnecessary attention to ourselves and distracts
others from their prayer. Priests in general don’t like talking about
money because many people think that the church is a business, trying to
milk the people for whatever they can. This is not the case: every church
has certain overheads like wages for the Priests, the chanters, the
cleaners, heating and air-condition expenses and many others. The only way
for the church to find money to pay for all these things is through the
money for candles, the money she charges for weddings, baptisms, memorials
and feasts and your contributions.
Keep in mind also the amount of candles you light. Some people take up to
10 or more candles, one for each member or their family and others for
their deceased loved ones. This isn’t at all necessary: one candle does
the same as ten. Candles produce a lot of heat in the summer, which can be
uncomfortable and also a lot of black smoke which blacken the whole
church. Having the church repainted is a costly expense which can run into
thousands of Euros. In most churches with frescos on the walls, candles
have been banned or placed in the Narthex or specially built pre-chambers.
After taking our candle we proceed to the Icon stand usually found in the
centre of the church, then crossing ourselves and bowing, we kiss the Icon
which is usually an Icon of the saint the church is dedicated to or the
Icon of the Feast we are celebrating. Kissing the Icon should be
accompanied with our prayer, we then cross ourselves again and bow and
then proceed to light our candle. Many people especially in villages then
proceed to the Iconostasis to venerate the Icons on the Screen. This may
be done if the person has come to church before the service begins, but
once the service has started, this should be avoided as again we draw
attention to ourselves and disrupt the attention of others. Instead of
their minds being on prayer their eyes follow you until you go to your
seat. Very often it can also disrupt the Priest as he comes out of the
Sanctuary to give a blessing and finds you standing in front of him. When
kissing an Icon we should also take care to kiss the Icon in the correct
place. We may kiss the fringe of saints garments, their hands, their feet,
the Cross or Gospel Book if they are holding one, but we avoid kissing the
holy faces on Icons. We would not go and kiss them on the lips if they
were standing in front of us, so the same respect should also be given to
their Icon by kissing them in the appropriate place.
Women should refrain from wearing
lipstick in Church, but if they can’t do without, then they shouldn’t kiss
the Icons. It is irreverent not only to God and his saints, but also to
our fellow Christians. Its disgusting to go and kiss an Icon only to find
it covered in greasy lipstick or when having communion to see the
communion spoon covered with this substance as it enters our mouths. In
general women should not wear any makeup in Church. It is like putting a
mask over the face that God has created, a false image like Jezebel in the
Old Testament who painted her face in order to seduce her enemy. God
doesn’t need painted faces to worship him and certainly doesn’t need to be
dazzled or seduced with what many women consider beautiful. God sees the
beauty and pureness of our hearts and our faces should reflect that inner
beauty. There is a time and place for all things and painted faces might
be appropriate for an evening out, but definitely not for Church.
Having then kissed the Icon or Icons and lit our candle we then proceed to
take our place to follow the service. The traditional posture for prayer
and worship in the Orthodox Church has always been to stand. Pews in
Churches are fairly new and probably an influence from the west. In older
times one could only find seats along the walls, but the whole area in the
middle was empty which allowed for prostrations. This we still see in
monasteries and Russian churches. In fact the Greek word for the type of
seats we see in church is “Στασίδια” which means a place for standing. An
English equivalent would be the word “stall” (not stool) which according
to the Collins Concise Dictionary comes from the Old English word “Steall”
meaning a place for standing. Originally the stalls didn’t have the lift
up seats that we see they have today. People rested by leaning on the arms
of the stall or by half sitting on a sloping semi circle seat attached to
the back of the stall. These have now been replaced with the lift up seat,
but in many places we can still find the original sloping seat.
Nowadays our churches usually
have enough seating for everyone and people have accustomed themselves to
sitting during the service, so much so that there are times when it is
compulsory to be standing and yet they remain seated. It seems that we
have become so lazy that we cannot raise ourselves to pray in a proper
fashion. So when should we be standing and when do we cross ourselves?
This is probably the most bewildering for people coming from western
churches who are accustomed to the service book telling them when to stand
and when to sit and when to kneel.
There are two morning services, Mattins and the Divine Liturgy. To explain
each occasion for both services would take too long so we will restrict
ourselves with the beginning of the Doxology which is the end of Mattins.
This begins with the third and last ringing of the bells. The first bell
ringing is at the start of Mattins, the second at the singing of the
Katavasia and the third at the singing of the Doxology. As the bells ring
we should be standing and cross ourselves with a small bow. Towards the
end of the Doxology the choir sing the Thriceholy Hymn. As each holy
begins we again cross ourselves and make a small bow. After this you
should know that there is only one more short hymn before the Divine
Liturgy begins. As the hymn comes to an end, we cross ourselves and bow to
the waist waiting for the Priest to make the opening blessing – Blessed is
the kingdom of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit… then
raising our body we may then sit. You might have noticed that the old
woman or old man next to you didn’t make his cross in the normal way, but
instead made the sign of the cross only on his forehead using only his/
her thumb. Many of the old people cross themselves in this way at the
start of the Liturgy and after the consecration of the Holy gifts when
they hear the words “More especially for our most blessed and glorious
Lady Mother of God and Ever Virgin Mary”. This might seem strange to many
of the younger generations. But it is something that has passed down from
one generation to the next. If you were to ask them why they do it, they
would not be able to explain, but what they are actually doing has been
traditionally passed down for two thousand years. This was the first and
original way people crossed themselves and we can trace it as early as the
second century, but it could even go right back to the Apostles. Early
Christians crossed themselves with the thumb on the forehead, over the
mouth when reading Scripture and in general, over anyone or anything
Christians wished to consecrate. That it has survived to our present age
is a testimony to how strong holy Tradition is.
So coming back to our Liturgy, people usually remain seated during the
petitions, but stand and cross ourselves when they hear the petition
“Mindful of our Most holy and undefiled Lady Mother of God…” and the
exclamation at the end, when the priest glorifies the Holy Trinity. During
the Antiphones one may be seated until the singing of “O only begotton Son
and Word of God…” where people stand and remain standing for the Little
Entrance with the Gospel Book. If you are paying attention you will hear
the Priest exclaim “Wisdom Stand steadfast” which is telling us that we
should be standing to attention. At the singing of “O come let us worship
and bow down.. we again cross ourselves and make a small bow. Next follows
the singing of the hymns for the Feasts and various Saints where we may
sit, but stand again during the singing of the Thrice-holy hymn crossing
and making small bows at each Holy. One should remain standing until the
reading of the Apostle, sit during it, and stand again as soon as it is
finished.
Next follows the censing and the
reading of the Gospel. As a rule one should be standing whenever the
Priest censes, whenever he blesses and in general whenever he comes out of
the Sanctury and faces the people. As the Priest announces the Gospel
reading he reminds the People that they should be standing. He says
“Wisdom Stand steadfast. Let us hear the Holy Gospel.” We cross ourselves
as the reading begins asking God to enlighten us to understand his Gospel
and again at the end thanking and glorifying him for his saving words of
wisdom. At the singing of the Cherubic Hymn we should be standing as very
shortly the priest will begin censing. As the gifts pass us during the
procession for the Great Entrance we should cross and bow but not in a
prostrate position because the gifts have not yet been consecrated, but
also because it is forbidden by the holy canons of the Church to prostrate
and bend the knee on Sundays. This is because on Sundays we celebrate the
Resurrection of our Lord. Kneeling is seen as denoting falling to the
ground and death. It is a symbol of repentance, mourning in Christ and the
beseeching of the Divine mercy. The Resurrection has delivered us from
mourning and death and so we show our belief and hope in the Resurrection
by remaining in a standing position. Again we should be standing for the
Kiss of peace and the reciting of the Creed which should be said by
everyone. We should cross ourselves at the beginning of the Creed and at
the end, but you will also notice that many people cross themselves at
every article of the Creed while others at particular moments during it.
Immediately after the Creed, the
Priest says “Let us stand upright, let us stand with fear: let us take
heed to present the holy offering in peace”. From here until after the
consecration of the Holy Gifts one should be standing. During the actual
consecration of the Gifts we should be bowed to the waist until we here
the words “More especially for our most blessed and glorious Lady Mother
of God and Ever Virgin Mary”. After this we may sit for a short while, but
again stand for the Lord’s Prayer and remain standing until the end of the
service. As a rule, when in doubt, stand: it is never wrong to stand in
church. At the exclamation “The Holy Things unto the Holy”, we should make
the sign of the cross and a deep bow. Next begins the preparation for Holy
Communion. Many people very wrongly and irreverently treat this time
similar to an interlude at the theatre and start talking among themselves:
all that is missing is the popcorn. Far from being an interlude, this time
should be used to recollect our thoughts and pray from the heart that God
may find us worthy to partake of the fearful Mysteries without
condemnation.
Sadly many people don’t partake
regularly, which in theory and theologically, they shouldn’t even be in
church at this moment. The Divine Liturgy is served so that Christians can
partake of the Holy Mysteries. Let’s assume though that you are going to
approach for Holy Communion: what is the correct way to do this? At all
times there must be absolute order. The Priests comes out of the Sanctuary
holding the Holy Chalice and says “With fear of God, faith and love draw
near”. At this time we should all cross ourselves and bow irregardless of
whether or not we are going to partake. Now how we approach has just been
pointed out to us when the Priest said “With fear of God, faith and love
draw near”. Fear of God means with reverence and if we have this fear then
we will also know how to approach. That means without talking and making a
noise and without pushing and stepping on other peoples toes. So often
during the Great Feasts when a great many come for Holy Communion we see a
disorderly madness with everyone pushing to reach the Chalice first.
People must learn to approach in an orderly and humble manner and it is
the Priest’s duty to teach them how to do this. Babies and children should
come first as they get restless very easily. The very old and those who
cannot stand for too long would do better to sit and wait till the end and
then approach. We should approach in a single file and if there are many
in the file, then wait until we can join ourselves to it. But our stance
is also important. If we stand looking around at people and things, then
our minds are not on what we are about to do.
With the early church people
received the Body and the Blood separately and they approached similarly
to how Priests approach when there is a bishop presiding over the Liturgy.
We Priests place our right hand over our left forming a cross and wait for
the bishop to place the body in our palms. Today, people receive both
elements together from the spoon directly into their mouths, but we can
still approach in a similar manner. Having our hands crossed like the
Priest do, we then bring them up to our hearts and approach with our heads
slightly bowed so that we see the ground and nothing else. This humble and
reverent approach assists us to keep our mind on prayer at all times
without seeing what others are doing. If we have the need to cross
ourselves we should do this before we reach the Holy Chalice. Having
reached the chalice, never ever cross yourselves as you might accidentally
hit the chalice with you hand. The same goes for after taking Communion.
Don’t cross yourselves until you are well clear of the Chalice. After
communion immediately return to your place. Many people feel that it is
irreverent to turn their back to the Chalice and wait around that area
until Communion has finished before returning to their seats. This very
often causes a congestion of human bodies which blocks the passage for
others to return.
After Communion the Priest shows
the Chalice saying “Save O Lord thy people and bless thine inheritance”.
Here again we cross ourselves and bow and again when the Priest shows the
Chalice saying “Always, now and ever, world without end.” With this the
Liturgy comes to an end and it remains for the Priest to give the
dismissal. As he mentions certain saint’s names people will cross
themselves accordingly and again as he says “By the Prayers of our holy
fathers…” Then as the Antidoron is distributed we kiss the Cross if the
Priest is holding one and also the hand that gives us the Antidoron.
There are a few things we shouldn’t do even though we might see others
doing them. When we are censed or when the priest blesses us saying “Peace
unto all” we do not make the sign of the cross, but bow our heads. We
should not light candles during the Epistle or Gospel readings, during the
Little or Great Entrances, or at any other time other than the candle we
lit on entering the church.
We should not cross our legs in Church. This is a taboo and considered to
be very disrespectful. I’m not sure is there is a traditional explanation
why, but we tend to cross our legs to get comfortable while sitting. It is
a too relaxed and casual attitude for Church and keep in mind what was
said in the beginning, that churches at one time didn’t have seats, so
sitting in church is a concession and not the normal position for prayer.
Being too comfortable and relaxed makes your mind wander off and might
even send you into a deep sleep.
Never talk during the services even if others talk to you. If you see
friends and family members, acknowledge them with a nod, but leave
greeting and talking with them until the end.
Everything we have mentioned is just plain common sense. The rule is to
always remember that you are in Church to worship God. If you do this with
fear of God, faith and love, then you will probably have good Church
etiquette.
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